When everything feels like straw…

I left the meeting feeling overwhelmed. Sad thing is that I was leaving a meeting I led. Sigh.

Afterward, I ran into a colleague in the hall who casually asked, “How’s it going?” To which I answered, “I think I’m going to quit,” an idle threat, of course, but I could sense the emotion pressing threateningly against my eyes. Tears, anyone?

Instead, I made my way outside, where I knew I could walk for a half hour with a couple of coworkers before trying to speed-write a blog post for the second half hour of my break. Which is now. Which is the luxury I am giving myself as I face an afternoon feeling straw after straw land on the back of this camel (me). In other words, I am “in over my head,” which I tried to portray in the image at right.

It’s no big deal, really, just a sensation of being overloaded, of living outside my comfort zone, of learning new tricks and leading others as I do so. A colleague is out for maternity leave for 3+ months, and the bulk of her work — plus two huge projects, one I am tackling today — is riding on me, along with my regular work. Mere straws.

I can look at this and feel overwhelmed, or I can look at this as a challenge, an opportunity to grow, a chance to learn something new and exciting and prove my worth to my company.

And I will. After I have a little pity party. And after I make myself remember Paul’s declaration:

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

So I’ll gladly share my pity party with you. Consider it a little boast of my weaknesses (although it feels more like a confession), because I definitely need that power of Christ to dwell in me today.

So no more straw; I am not a camel. No more “in” over my head. Just the power of Christ dwelling in me — making a difference in me and through me.

Later. I’ve got work to do!

Posts for NaBloPoMo 2015:

1. Why I love my hairstylist…
2. To NaBloPoMo or not to NaBloPoMo? That is the question…
3. No AC November…
4. That dubious gift of an hour…
5. I can’t wait to be discovered…
6. Once an English teacher, always an English teacher…
7. Of mice and men (or when you give a mouse a cookie)…
8. When you replace people with possessions…
9. Do what you know is right…
10. When your eyes are bigger than your weekend…
11. Attempting “The Glad Game”…
12. When the Christian life is a bit too much like a political debate…
13. Vertigo: When the world around you begins to spin…
14. How our Mitsubishi van became blue…
15. If she only knew…
16. When everything feels like straw…