How I Found Relief from a Nagging Colleague and Took Control of My Workday

Baby steps and learning the problem isn’t somebody else

“Father, she’s driving me crazy,” I had written in my journal, following a week of being coerced by a persistent, nagging colleague who had returned from vacation with a deadline pending. 

A deadline that included me.

I’d completed her marketing project before she left for vacation — and she’d approved it — but she had come back with changes in mind. Which she wanted done immediately – and she expected me to do them. Immediately. 

No matter that I had numerous other projects in progress also on deadline. 

Here’s how crazy it was…

She would begin by sending me an email, and then she’d follow it up with an unscheduled visit to my office with a sheaf of papers in hand detailing all the changes she wanted. 

Before I had a chance to read her email.

She couldn’t let the email communicate her needs. She wouldn’t hand me her stack of pages and go her merry way. No, she had to talk me through her scratchy notes on paper as we compared her suggested changes with the version on my computer to make sure I knew what she wanted.

She did this again and again. 

Here’s how crazy I was…

And did I help her? Yes, because she persisted and made sure I would have no peace until she’d worn me down. 

She reminds me of the parable Jesus told of the widow who repeatedly sought justice in her case until the judge – who cared not a bit about pleasing man or God – did the right thing by her.

“…this woman is driving me crazy,” he said. “I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!” (Luke 18:5. NLT).

Oh, I relate! 

All I needed was this simple solution

Jesus told that parable to urge his followers to persist in prayer. But this morning, my journaled “Father, she’s driving me crazy” was followed by this distinct answer:

“Stop letting her drive.” 

Oh. 

Or, as my friend Leah posted more eloquently on Facebook after we talked, “If somebody’s driving you crazy, stop giving them the keys.”

Easy enough if you’re gripping the keys to an actual car, but harder when you are the car.

The problem, I concluded in my journal reflections, was me.

All I needed was to fix me…

I’d been telling myself – and God – I needed to time-block my schedule. But I hadn’t. So my Outlook calendar showed me as footloose and fancy-free when in fact I was as overloaded as I could get.

And my unsuspecting colleague kept hoisting her straws on my back – because I didn’t have the sense to create boundaries so she couldn’t. 

She certainly wasn’t going to establish boundaries for me.

So, after I completed her project, I told her to stop emailing me personally and, instead, submit requests through the marketing email account (which I monitor with two other employees).

I asked her to schedule any meetings she needed – not stop by when I’m concentrating on getting work done.

And I asked her to forecast and share the dates for any ongoing, monthly projects she might have.

Drum roll, please…

You know what happened then? 

She did it. 

I haven’t mastered a time-blocked schedule. I haven’t established the routines I want to complete each week. But I’ve made small steps.

Baby steps.

Such as speaking to my colleague and expressing how I could best serve her. And by taking a lunch break – and closing my blinds and putting a note on my closed, locked door indicating when I would be back from lunch. 

And you know what has happened to me? 

I feel less crazy.

I think I like the driver’s seat.