On Saturday, I experienced a cockroach encroaching on my coffee, but today I realized other bugs have been encroaching on my sleep. I don’t mean creepy crawlies; I mean things that are bugging me.
Such as the feeling that my summer is slipping away.
For the past week, my usual sound-sleeping habits have been disturbed by dreams of the computer kind. I wake up because I am inside a Web site or a computer program working out problems or completing my school work, frustrated because they never end. Or I can’t get to sleep because I am thinking about all I have to do–or all that I might have done wrong. Or I fall asleep and wake up well before my alarm, my mind alert–and anxious. And, always, always, I am counting the dwindling days–grieving–until I return to school as a teacher. July is so short.
I’m suffering encroachment issues. As I began this summer, I had high intentions (which I wrote about) of following a schedule, making time for writing, for my student work, for my teacher work, for housework, and the like. I have failed in that regard. I underestimated the number of hours and the mind power my summer courses would take. The past four weeks, my two online classes–each estimating 16 hours per week of work–have overlapped, claiming a whopping 32 hours per week of my time. My summer classes began before my teaching year ended and end after my teaching year begins. In addition, I took on a task from the school where I teach, the hours inestimable currently, but the task always pressing hard–at least on my mind.
I’m not complaining about the classes or the work. I think the fault is with me. I suffer encroachment issues because I fail to establish and uphold boundaries.
The past weeks in my Managing Educational Projects course, I’ve learned a lot about managing projects, of course, but I’ve also seen how I fail to manage myself, specifically in two concepts: scope creep and Parkinson’s Law. (Not favorable terms, by the way.) While scope refers to all the work involved in getting a project completed, scope creep is the tendency for that scope to get
better and better bigger and bigger. (And since I accidentally typed “better and better” first, you can tell I often experience this creep and fail to recognize it as a negative.) Parkinson’s Law, quite simply, states that work expands to fill the time allowed.
Unfortunately, those two concepts are defining my summer. I am simply allowing my school work (as a student and as a teacher) to consume my time–allowing my projects and assignments to get bigger and bigger (albeit, better and better) and expand to fill my summer days. At the end of the hot, humid day, I still have an A (and a job, which I don’t undervalue) but I have no novel started, no house painted or even deep-cleaned, no spiritual walk or friendships deepened, no relaxation and rejuvenation, and, clearly (as I began typing at 2:30 a.m.), no rest for the weary.
The Eagles’ song lyrics, “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin, slippin’ into the future” is a refrain in my brain. Except my summertime is slipping into the past–too quickly–and a school year with so little spare time is my future.
This stress and lack of sleep isn’t God’s plan for me. Psalm 127 says:
“Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves” (verses 1-2, NIV).
I need to embrace the wisdom in the Psalmist’s words. If God is not building me as a student and as a teacher, then my efforts are for naught. If God is building me, then my stress and lack of sleep are unnecessary to the process. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (NIV). If I am merely lamenting the passing of these summer days and not becoming wiser in my handling of them, I have gained nothing. I need to put God first, trust Him to accomplish through me the tasks I believe He has placed before me, do my best–without stressing or lacking sleep.
So let time keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’… I’ll be nipping that scope creep in the bud and granting smaller windows of time to my schoolwork to combat my Parkinson’s Law tendencies–so I’ll have time for some sleepin’, sleepin’, sleepin’ and the other joys that my precious days of summer hold.
5 thoughts on “Encroachment issues…”
I can surely relate – these tenancies derail my plans with amazing regularity. I wonder if naming them correctly will help me improve? Great post, friend! 🙂
Sometimes when I’m sleeping, I dream I’m awake. Great entry.
Thanks! And just dreaming you’re awake sure does make you tired the next day! I’ve done it myself. 🙂
You eloquently put words to how I feel as well. I live within 25 minutes of “The World’s Whitest Beaches,” a place that nourishes my soul with God’s beauty like no other, and yet I haven’t seen its beautiful expanse or felt its grainy sand between my toes since last year.
A FB friend posted this the other day–
“Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others or our tight grip of control.”
It was an almost offensive reminder of how quickly the heart I intend to share with the world can be corrupted.
Deep God breaths in..
Great post, friend.
Wow! That’s a deep thought… I’ve got to think on it for awhile. (I love Francis Chan!) Get to the beach, Lalla! I don’t know how you are doing three classes when my two are more than enough! 🙂 Thanks for your comment!