I lamented parking at the opposite end of the mall immediately after I had purchased the rake. I hoisted it over my shoulder, hooked it on a couple of racks of socks as I tried to maneuver Sears’ customers and cluttered aisles, but otherwise made my way without incident into the mall. Yea, me. While I was thankful I’d tucked my bags filled with more typical mall purchases into the van earlier, I realized I made quite a spectacle sans makeup with my still-damp hair, wearing aerobics shoes and workout clothes, hefting a bag of Craftsman tools in one hand and the rake in the other.
It was not my finer moment, and, of course, I saw someone I knew. Worse, he saw me. I smiled, sheepishly acknowledged the rake on my shoulder, to which he said something like, “Well, maybe it’s something you can blog about.”
Stunned. That was a good word. How did he know? He knew I blogged? This was my children’s soccer coach from years gone by and a parent of a student at my school. Oh, and a friend on Facebook, where I always post a link to my blog. You never know who’s really reading.
<Jon, this blog post is for you.>
Of course, I felt rather self conscious and conspicuous carrying a rake through the mall and then through another department store. I had to be careful I didn’t hook or hit anyone, but I also tried to look cool. Like “I am so cool I can walk through the mall bearing a rake” sort of cool. (Is there such a thing?) Men chasing their children, as their wives shopped for girly items, beamed at me. Women looked a bit sympathetic or downright incredulous. I remained cool. Nonchalant. Like “I’m raking in the bargains, people, and I needed the right tool to do so…”
And because Jon had mentioned “blog,” my mind was going a million miles a minute. What to write? What to write about a rake in the mall? How can I shoot a selfie of myself carrying the rake and this other bag in the mall when my hands were full? Dare I ask that person to shoot a photo of me? Maybe I could shoot a photo of myself with the mall in the background once I get in the parking lot?
No. Miss Feeling Awkward Carrying a Rake Through the Mall Though She Looked So Cool was not about to be Miss Feeling Crazy and Awkward Shooting a Photo of Herself While Carrying a Rake Through the Mall Though She Looked So Cool. (Because, honestly, I didn’t feel so cool — just in case you happened to see me.) Hence, no mall photo — unless you count the selfie I attempted in the car. With the rake in the background. Several times. And then in my back yard, first Wilson style from “Home Improvement,” then, simply, jail cell. A couple crazed looks. A few smiles. Even a “Letting My Hair Down” photo or two.
I am crazy and awkward.
The good news is, the rake came with a lifetime guarantee… so I can return to the mall with a broken rake and get a replacement…
2 thoughts on “Raking in the bargains…”
With all the trees you have, am sure Adam (dare I say that) will be in gear for the onslaught of leaves that will be coming down soon. I hate the mess of tracking them in the house and will be sure my blower is in good condition for Noah (ha) when he arrives in February, just in time…..
Very true! I have not yet showed him the gift I carried through the mall on his behalf…